That’s What She Said.
I’m sitting in a white room. The soft hum of a halfhearted microwave and the muffled chitter chatter of my peers’ fills my ears. I’m focusing hard on the TV screen in front of me. Wheel of Fortune is on, and I can’t help but be captivated by it’s puzzling puzzles. As I watch the colorful wheel of destiny spin I fantasize about what I’d do with thousands of dollars. The fantasy is the same every time. Fix my financial messiness, and go shopping.
My twenty-minute break ended at least twenty minutes ago. Time to leave the break room and continue working for the man.
When I first took my current job in the retail industry I thought that standing behind a counter would be a chillaxed break from my long stint as a waitress. My assumption was wrong, and working in retail soon proved to be a new form of hell in which I now reside.
Let’s just say I work for a very well known department store that grosses millions and millions of dollars each year. Yet, I make a very minimum wage.
People are cheaper and bitchier than I ever could’ve imagined. In the restaurant business you sell greasy fattening food to obese patrons who act as if they just got off the train from Auschwitz. In retail, you get people who come to a department store looking for thrift store bargains.
The following are irritating comments, complaints, and actions of retail customers that I have encountered:
What they said: “Where are the employees? This place is a shithole!”
What I’m thinking: You’re a shithole.
What they said: “I want a size 8!” snaps a woman as she shakes a skirt at me.
What I’m thinking: You’s a bitch.
What they said: “The coupons never work here! Nothing ever goes my way!”
What I’m thinking: O.M.G. Your coupon didn’t work?!?! Next your going to tell me couldn’t find a parking spot that was close to the entrance. My goodness, how do make it through the day with these insurmountable obstacles placed so strategically in your path?
What they said:” Why do YOU guys give us the coupons if we can’t use them?”
What I’m thinking:” I don’t give you the coupons. The company does. That’s right ladies, and gentlemen; I’m not a multi-billionaire I just work for one.
What they said:” I bet you shop here all the time!”
What I’m thinking: Yes ma’ m, I take my minimum wage check and run straight to the bank on payday. I don’t have bills, and I can afford to blow the little bit of money I make on the things I want.
What actually happens, sometimes: Today a woman stated that the shirt she selected off the sale rack was supposed to be 70% and then an extra 40% off the original price. “ That would be 110% off, and the shirt would be free” I replied. “Oh” Said the mathematically challenged woman. The people standing in line behind the woman made fun of her when she walked away, and I told them that made me like them more. I gave them an extra 25% off their purchase.
This entry was posted on Saturday, December 5th, 2009 at 3:25 am and is filed under Oh My Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
10:22 pm on April 27th, 2010
Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done.